Azusa the highs, lows and in betweens

I have returned to the predictable, the routine, the very place i left to find new meaning in life. Now that i have returned to this place i try to take the good out of the bad. I must say that i dislike being here, amidst many of my fellow students that don't give about anyone else but themselves. People who live in a bubble we call "APU BUBBLE" and so they are blind to the people and social injustices that occur outside of it. I wish i could pop everyone's bubble and make them see the real world that lies outside of it. Life is not what you can buy from it, but why wish i could make them see, i wish i could make them appreciated "the other" without imposing on them their own beliefs. I guess my feelings are a bit imposing as well. Who am i to change anyones paradigm, people don't have to believe what i believe. I long to be away from this place, i day dream about being back in Los Angeles, far too much.

The reason i hate this place is because here i need to work to pay rent and to buy my own food. I don't have a host mom that does this for me anymore. I have to work really hard, two jobs to be precise, and on top of that i am taking 5 classes that all demand much from me. When do i study? the weekends. Therefore, i have little to no time to socialize. My roommate Rosy is worried about me, i see it in her eyes. She's worried because i work to much and hardly sleep. She worries because I'm always tired. She's a good roommate, I wish more people were like her.

Although living with 5 girls can be stressful (especially if not all of them believe in cleanliness) I am learning to be patient, and to not let everything get to me like it did the first month. My thoughts are random and unorganized but i finally let them out.